A great thing happened this morning, I normally get into work as early as possible to get it over with and have as much of an evening left over as possible. The other guy that normally gets in around 8 o'clock didn't turn up and I was getting paid to stand around outside and listen to Music. This was even better then when your getting payed to go to the toilet during work, its one of those things that always makes me smile and helps me through the work day.
It was a brilliantly sunny morning I was awe struck by the three trees in front of where I worked, the greenness of the leaves just seemed so perfectly coordinated with the blue sky. If you look close enough every leaf is a slightly different shade of green It never ceases to just who pretty our perception of reality is. I'm aware that its probably these colours that have been present since we started evolving have probably shaped our perceptions and tastes, but I can't think of a reason why we would gain an evolutionary advantage in finding it so pretty.
I had been reading some Plato during the week, reading philosophy is probably a very dangerous thing for me to do as I almost without fail will try on the ways of thinking and beliefs. The reason I was so fascinated by the trees is that because all three of them looked so different but we instantly recognise them all as trees. Plato noticed this as postulated that somewhere on a non physical plane there existed an ideal form of a tree and its by similarities to these ideal forms that we recognise things.
This may sound odd/obvious/even stupid now but its a wonderful original bit of noticing and thinking a massive jump from every thing is the way it is because of the will of gods. It sounds even better if you change the on a non physical plane part to a concept in your head part. There is a bush outside my work that has a small trunk and branches quite similar to a tree, I started to wonder what makes one thing a bush and one thing a tree. I know your probably thinking size you idiot, bushes are smaller than trees! I'm aware of this, but I was thinking isn't a bush different to a baby tree, a bush can even be bigger than a bonsai tree. How much do you need to enlarge this bush by in order for it to register as a tree. If you get a bush and start morphing it into a tree is there some point in the middle where it is equally both or neither?
Then another guy from work came and let me in.
Monday, 27 August 2007
Saturday, 25 August 2007
More Work? zug zug
Work was really starting to become like well ... really hard work. The work itself was dirty but really easy, I could do the job in my sleep maybe this was part of the problem.
I absolutely love listening to music as I walk around, so I normally arrive at work buzzing with excitement and happiness then on the way in I pass some kind of invisible barrier that strips that from me. I get in, sit down and time slows down ... way down. I can sit there for what feels like ten or twenty minutes and only five minutes have passed. I've tried hiding the clock on my computer so I'm not constantly checking it but that doesn't help.
I'm starting to feel every single minute, my chair is getting increasingly uncomfortable, the sound of the fans on the servers next to me grows more grating and I can feel the for sale sign embedding itself deeper into my soul. I'm getting so desperate to pass time that I'm eating a lot more, popping out to the shop next door can painlessly pass a few more minutes almost 10 if you eat what you got from the shop slowly. My lunch partner likes to eat lunch around 12:30 but several times now its got to 12:00 and I've just had to go to lunch, I need to get out of there. Also nearly every lunch hour someone else would be coming to do something on my computer. I have a screen saver that kicks in after 45 minutes and its quite rare for my screen saver to be on when I returned from my hour lunch break.
The onset of boredom and resentment kicked in way quicker that I was expecting it to, I had never been an official developer before I was hoping that would make a difference. When I arrive at work I really do want to work, this passionless way of spending half my waking day really gnaws at me. Its just when I sit down in front of the computer my mind rebels it just struggles to do things it isn't interested in, luckily these days there is an Internet and I have a good stock of mp3's to listen to. I don't know what I would do without them.
I almost walked out today, one of the senior developers that I'm good friends with had a big shouting match with the guy that owns the company. His angry words struck a cord with me as it was all the normal complaints that I have heard and felt over the years, I decided in a moment of solidarity that if he walked out I would too, he didn't.
I know rationally that I probably need a reference from these guys and that earning money is good but ... there has to be a better way. My contract now has run out with them, but they are very keen for me to stay. I've negotiated a four day week which is a splint but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on there.
I remember it wasn't always like this there where times in the past when I actually really enjoyed going to work, I used to really care about the quality of what I did. Looking back now these tended to be the times when I was creating things, innervating or at the very least thinking and learning.
I absolutely love listening to music as I walk around, so I normally arrive at work buzzing with excitement and happiness then on the way in I pass some kind of invisible barrier that strips that from me. I get in, sit down and time slows down ... way down. I can sit there for what feels like ten or twenty minutes and only five minutes have passed. I've tried hiding the clock on my computer so I'm not constantly checking it but that doesn't help.
I'm starting to feel every single minute, my chair is getting increasingly uncomfortable, the sound of the fans on the servers next to me grows more grating and I can feel the for sale sign embedding itself deeper into my soul. I'm getting so desperate to pass time that I'm eating a lot more, popping out to the shop next door can painlessly pass a few more minutes almost 10 if you eat what you got from the shop slowly. My lunch partner likes to eat lunch around 12:30 but several times now its got to 12:00 and I've just had to go to lunch, I need to get out of there. Also nearly every lunch hour someone else would be coming to do something on my computer. I have a screen saver that kicks in after 45 minutes and its quite rare for my screen saver to be on when I returned from my hour lunch break.
The onset of boredom and resentment kicked in way quicker that I was expecting it to, I had never been an official developer before I was hoping that would make a difference. When I arrive at work I really do want to work, this passionless way of spending half my waking day really gnaws at me. Its just when I sit down in front of the computer my mind rebels it just struggles to do things it isn't interested in, luckily these days there is an Internet and I have a good stock of mp3's to listen to. I don't know what I would do without them.
I almost walked out today, one of the senior developers that I'm good friends with had a big shouting match with the guy that owns the company. His angry words struck a cord with me as it was all the normal complaints that I have heard and felt over the years, I decided in a moment of solidarity that if he walked out I would too, he didn't.
I know rationally that I probably need a reference from these guys and that earning money is good but ... there has to be a better way. My contract now has run out with them, but they are very keen for me to stay. I've negotiated a four day week which is a splint but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on there.
I remember it wasn't always like this there where times in the past when I actually really enjoyed going to work, I used to really care about the quality of what I did. Looking back now these tended to be the times when I was creating things, innervating or at the very least thinking and learning.
Wednesday, 22 August 2007
Thai boxing
It was Caroline's last weekend in Australia, I had meet her way back in the beginning when I was doing the pub quiz on one of my first nights in Melbourne. It seems like such a long time ago now, its one of the problems of living in a hostel is that most the friends you make tend to move somewhere else pretty quickly.
As is traditional here and in England we all went out for a drink. Me and Gena headed out early to get some food first, one of the main problems that me and Gena have is that neither of us has any sense of direction what so ever, we have even managed not to find entire suburbs before. For us both to always pick the wrong direction their must be some part of our brains that knows the correct one and then deliberately changes it. Otherwise we would sometimes pick the correct route.
When we eventually found the pub, we received a message saying that there was a change of plan and they where now in a different one. The night was fun, there is a worrying trend that all of my female friends seem to very quickly prefer Gena company to mine, its very interesting watching her talk to other women, she acts like they are best friends already. To me it kind of looks like shes flirting with them. Seems to work really well. I was tempted to try the same strategy for talking to other men, but I'm not sure its a good idea, and I definitely won't be using it on Martin just in case.
I was worried the night would pass without a bloggortunity (its my word I can change the spelling if I want) but luckily a crazy American guy attached himself to the group and started ranting away. He asked me how comes I was the only guy with five women, then explained in great detail how had had failed to pick up women even when he had cash and was in town where prostitution was legal.
Firstly he had some how missed that that one of my male friends was standing just a foot ... sorry half a meter ... must remember we are metric here or so away from me. I let this pass and explained that his first rule of thumb should be to start conversations with people and not talk about how even prostitutes rejected him. He did talk some more, I'm sure he did, but I didn't make any notes at the time so I can't be accurate about what else he said.
As is traditional here and in England we all went out for a drink. Me and Gena headed out early to get some food first, one of the main problems that me and Gena have is that neither of us has any sense of direction what so ever, we have even managed not to find entire suburbs before. For us both to always pick the wrong direction their must be some part of our brains that knows the correct one and then deliberately changes it. Otherwise we would sometimes pick the correct route.
When we eventually found the pub, we received a message saying that there was a change of plan and they where now in a different one. The night was fun, there is a worrying trend that all of my female friends seem to very quickly prefer Gena company to mine, its very interesting watching her talk to other women, she acts like they are best friends already. To me it kind of looks like shes flirting with them. Seems to work really well. I was tempted to try the same strategy for talking to other men, but I'm not sure its a good idea, and I definitely won't be using it on Martin just in case.
I was worried the night would pass without a bloggortunity (its my word I can change the spelling if I want) but luckily a crazy American guy attached himself to the group and started ranting away. He asked me how comes I was the only guy with five women, then explained in great detail how had had failed to pick up women even when he had cash and was in town where prostitution was legal.
Firstly he had some how missed that that one of my male friends was standing just a foot ... sorry half a meter ... must remember we are metric here or so away from me. I let this pass and explained that his first rule of thumb should be to start conversations with people and not talk about how even prostitutes rejected him. He did talk some more, I'm sure he did, but I didn't make any notes at the time so I can't be accurate about what else he said.
Tuesday, 21 August 2007
Shark 'n Chips
Now starting with the most important discovery of today, whenever you buy fish and chips in Australia you tend to get a fish called flake, after several portions of flake I inquired as to what it was. The Lady at the shop looked me dead in the eye and calmly replied Shark as if it was a normal and every day thing to eat Jaws. As much as I enjoy eating animals that by all rights in the natural world should be eating me it just seems a little odd. Surely fish are easier to catch then sharks are? Even if Australia's waters are completely Shark infested surely they must be equally fish infested in order for the multitude of Sharks to feast.
Tonight me and Gena were heading out into town to meet Martin the recruitment guy, I had warned her about him and was actually kind of worried that he might act more normal under the pressure of an audience. This in turn would make me look weird ... I needn't have worried. He was with a girl from work and his girlfriend who wasn't present was texting him about how annoyed she was at him for going out and not inviting her. He was showing the messages around like a kid with a shiny new toy ... till one message contained the words.
'Go find a girl that you actually want to have sex with'
Well it was something very similar to that, it probably had a 'u' instead of a 'you' I can't be sure as the moment we got to that point in the message, Martin in a move so quick that David Blaine would have been proud of moved his phone back into his pocket. Martin was making me feel very uncomfortable he would kind of commentate on me and tell me things like 'your quite a character'. It reminded me of that kid that follows Bruce Willis around in Die Hard 4, I'm much more comfortable with people teasing me. The evening passed pleasantly Gena made the mistake of telling Martin that I was looking for a place to live, he instantly replied
'oh he will live at mine'
Notice the word 'will' there, that word scares me, normally people would use the word 'can' or at least ask me if I wanted to live at their house. Not just assume that I will live there like it was my destiny, this fact is even more disturbing given the recent coming to light of evidence that he didn't seem to be very interested in sexual relations with women. After a few to many beers me and Gena made out excuses and left. You can tell we are a proper couple now, we are leaving early and everything.
The main reason that I agreed to meet Martin again is that my contract was that my temporary job was coming to an end and it was past time to find a new job. Unfortunately since that night Martin has tried to get me to go forward for one job. A $100,000 a year job! I really like what hes done with the $100,000 thing, I like that, I like that a lot but I get the feeling it would be a really short interview.
Interviewer: 'Have you you got 5 years experience running an IT department for a company with over a thousand employees?'
Me: No
As tempted as I was to give it a go I think even my tricks wouldn't cover over that one.
Tonight me and Gena were heading out into town to meet Martin the recruitment guy, I had warned her about him and was actually kind of worried that he might act more normal under the pressure of an audience. This in turn would make me look weird ... I needn't have worried. He was with a girl from work and his girlfriend who wasn't present was texting him about how annoyed she was at him for going out and not inviting her. He was showing the messages around like a kid with a shiny new toy ... till one message contained the words.
'Go find a girl that you actually want to have sex with'
Well it was something very similar to that, it probably had a 'u' instead of a 'you' I can't be sure as the moment we got to that point in the message, Martin in a move so quick that David Blaine would have been proud of moved his phone back into his pocket. Martin was making me feel very uncomfortable he would kind of commentate on me and tell me things like 'your quite a character'. It reminded me of that kid that follows Bruce Willis around in Die Hard 4, I'm much more comfortable with people teasing me. The evening passed pleasantly Gena made the mistake of telling Martin that I was looking for a place to live, he instantly replied
'oh he will live at mine'
Notice the word 'will' there, that word scares me, normally people would use the word 'can' or at least ask me if I wanted to live at their house. Not just assume that I will live there like it was my destiny, this fact is even more disturbing given the recent coming to light of evidence that he didn't seem to be very interested in sexual relations with women. After a few to many beers me and Gena made out excuses and left. You can tell we are a proper couple now, we are leaving early and everything.
The main reason that I agreed to meet Martin again is that my contract was that my temporary job was coming to an end and it was past time to find a new job. Unfortunately since that night Martin has tried to get me to go forward for one job. A $100,000 a year job! I really like what hes done with the $100,000 thing, I like that, I like that a lot but I get the feeling it would be a really short interview.
Interviewer: 'Have you you got 5 years experience running an IT department for a company with over a thousand employees?'
Me: No
As tempted as I was to give it a go I think even my tricks wouldn't cover over that one.
Sunday, 19 August 2007
Cave Paintings
For the first time today I actually read some of my blog ... its very odd. I would just like to clear a few points up
My intention isn't intended to show off or anything of the sort, if anything its here to entertain ... much as I would do in person if I was talking to you. Translating my life to written form is fun, and as bizare as some of it sounds its all completly true. Weird stuff always seems to happen to me and crazy people head to me like moths do to a light. I'm dreading the day when I meet someone and they explain to me that the book (well my blog) of my life is better than the movie (well my life). Also its nice to contribute something to the Internet for a change.
Its best to look at this blog as you would a child just showing off a painting its really happy with to its parents. One of the main things that happens when you fly off to the other side of the world on your own is that all of your habits become null and void. Your brain likes whats familiar but it learns from whats new, very quickly new habits start to establish themselves in the clearing. They starts as very small things like always ordering the same thing at a fast food place or always walking on the same side of the road on the way to work.
I'm sure left alone they would grow back into the huge habit forest that was my normal life. As an experiment I have been weeding any habit as soon as I notice it. So far my brain seems to be responding very positively, before I recommend this practice its probably best to let me do it for a while longer to see if there are any unexpected side effects.
One of the benefits of escaping the physical habits is that your habits of thought change too. I notice my mind is going in exciting and new directions and I'm figuring out a lot of things that you guys already knew and take for granted. I had always spent a lot of time thinking about the big important/abstract things but now I was actually figuring out a lot of the small stuff that you guys already seemed to intuitively know. Stuff like maybe you shouldn't dump the woman you love to get engaged to a random stranger because your magic eight ball told you to do it.
As I look back with my new perspective I think the person in my way of my life being beter was myself and if anything I was actually running away from my destiny.
My intention isn't intended to show off or anything of the sort, if anything its here to entertain ... much as I would do in person if I was talking to you. Translating my life to written form is fun, and as bizare as some of it sounds its all completly true. Weird stuff always seems to happen to me and crazy people head to me like moths do to a light. I'm dreading the day when I meet someone and they explain to me that the book (well my blog) of my life is better than the movie (well my life). Also its nice to contribute something to the Internet for a change.
Its best to look at this blog as you would a child just showing off a painting its really happy with to its parents. One of the main things that happens when you fly off to the other side of the world on your own is that all of your habits become null and void. Your brain likes whats familiar but it learns from whats new, very quickly new habits start to establish themselves in the clearing. They starts as very small things like always ordering the same thing at a fast food place or always walking on the same side of the road on the way to work.
I'm sure left alone they would grow back into the huge habit forest that was my normal life. As an experiment I have been weeding any habit as soon as I notice it. So far my brain seems to be responding very positively, before I recommend this practice its probably best to let me do it for a while longer to see if there are any unexpected side effects.
One of the benefits of escaping the physical habits is that your habits of thought change too. I notice my mind is going in exciting and new directions and I'm figuring out a lot of things that you guys already knew and take for granted. I had always spent a lot of time thinking about the big important/abstract things but now I was actually figuring out a lot of the small stuff that you guys already seemed to intuitively know. Stuff like maybe you shouldn't dump the woman you love to get engaged to a random stranger because your magic eight ball told you to do it.
As I look back with my new perspective I think the person in my way of my life being beter was myself and if anything I was actually running away from my destiny.
I know our brain is basically a giant pattern matching machine, even taking this into account based on my life's experiences I've come to one of two conclusions:
1 (the unlikely one)- I am the luckiest person in the world.
2(the probably right one)- We are all constantly surrounded by opportunity and its just a case of noticing its there.
I'm really putting my money on the second one ... wonder what the easiest way of noticing all the opportunity is.
Recently I've been going out and doing stuff everyday, next week I'm going to take it easy and catch up on my reading and writing. Going to come up with a plan, I have a few ideas but it needs some more thought and discussion. All in all, baring unexpected Blogertunities or epiphanies the blog will be pretty quiet next week.
Friday, 17 August 2007
Bleach
I spent Friday night with Gena, now as much as I love this blog it does have a habit of killing any relationships described within it very dead indeed ... so I will tread carefully ... for more information your going to have to email or skype me off the record. Wow! I'm being censored by myself, I'm going to have to do something about that.
I had moved over to my Australian bank account, but my English credit card was the one registered to my phone and that was safely back in my hostel. This meant that for Friday evening I only had enough credit to send three text messages. I loved this limitation, with only three I would have to use them wisely, it was a really fun game.
I spent Friday night with Gena, I like her a lot, which is why I'll be dancing a little light on detail here. Suffice to say I had a lot of fun and Friday night quickly turned into Saturday evening, I wasn't intending to hang around ... we were just having a lot of fun. After returning back to base I cancelled my other dates, it felt a bit odd unloading them all, I probably could maybe even should have kept dating other people but for some reason it didn't feel right this time, besides I'm travelling and trying new things.
I had moved over to my Australian bank account, but my English credit card was the one registered to my phone and that was safely back in my hostel. This meant that for Friday evening I only had enough credit to send three text messages. I loved this limitation, with only three I would have to use them wisely, it was a really fun game.
I spent Friday night with Gena, I like her a lot, which is why I'll be dancing a little light on detail here. Suffice to say I had a lot of fun and Friday night quickly turned into Saturday evening, I wasn't intending to hang around ... we were just having a lot of fun. After returning back to base I cancelled my other dates, it felt a bit odd unloading them all, I probably could maybe even should have kept dating other people but for some reason it didn't feel right this time, besides I'm travelling and trying new things.
Thursday, 16 August 2007
Texas Vultures
I had always for some reason assumed that making male friends was a lot harder than making female girlfriends. When I caught myself thinking about this I noticed myself using a lot of the rubbish thinking processes and fuzzy logic that I would normally pick someone up on and challenge.
So I picked myself up on it and recently I have also been collecting the phone numbers of some of the cooler guys that I have been meeting recently and this Thursday we where heading to town for a night of drunken mischief. The group split fairly early, Dave an Irish guy who reminded me a lot of Dylan Moran had brought one of his room mates along some guy named Bo from Texas.
Normally the Americans that are out and about traveling the world are good people the same as you or I, its the ones that hang out in the middle playing banjos and voting Republican that you need to be worried about. There was something about Bo that didn't quite compute, he was introduced to me as a football coach I joked that our version of football deserves the name more after all it was not only historically existed first but we actually use our foot to kick the ball for the entire game. This annoyed him and I backed off.
I walk a lot, I like walking especially with my ipod because then I can either learn something or kind of dance while I'm walking to the music. I enjoy both very much. Its only a 10 -15 minute walk to town. I've just noticed that a 10 minute walk sounds short but a 15 minute walk sounds long ... interesting.
Anyway a couple of minutes into the walk Bo asked why don't we get the tram, I replied because its only a short walk, Bo grumbled, I added besides by the time we wait for a tram at this time in the night we might as well have walked there. This flagged as strange the drunk Irish guy who had never done any exercise ever was happy to walk but the super fit American wanted to get the tram.
When we arrived at the pub (the Joint) the machinations from the Bo guy just didn't sit well, the people I had hand picked for tonight where on the whole very smart, funny and kinda lent to the left politically. Somehow George Bush got mentioned and Bo proudly said I voted for him.
... A silence griped the assembled table ...
It was as if a steak had just been thrown into a pack of hungry dogs, there was a pause, the calm before the storm so to speak as everyone just process they had received from there senses. Even though we had only consumed a couple of beers by this point we seemed very ready to blame Bo for pretty much all the problems in the world. It really wasn't a fair fight we outnumbered him five to one, and he would continue to make matters worse for himself by saying some really uninformed things like George Bush is obviously really smart. I was temped to phone Gena and tell her that one of her country men was embarrassing himself and she should come down here to fix him. Very shortly Bo left and conversation returned to normal.
In fact a little to normal, the guys wanted chicks, I said a few things they called bullshit and I was called open to demonstrate my dukedom. They would point out a table of women I would go over there and start talking, then far to rapidly the entire of team Mike would bundle over mob handed and pretty much spoil everything. It was like trying to fish with a bunch of angry toddlers jumping in the water shortly after you cast your line.
I was quite happy to feed them women in fact I was enjoying the social status but they were getting a little to veracious, and the whole table charging in just wasn't working.
I went for a new tactic I would speak to individual or small groups, and them pass them off one at a time to one of my friends. But like a Vulture, one of them would swoop in the moment I disengaged for more than a second with any women that I happened to be talking to. This seemed better, but not ideal. Anyway it was about three in the morning by now and I had to be up for work in four hours. I left them at the pub and got a taxi back home.
So I picked myself up on it and recently I have also been collecting the phone numbers of some of the cooler guys that I have been meeting recently and this Thursday we where heading to town for a night of drunken mischief. The group split fairly early, Dave an Irish guy who reminded me a lot of Dylan Moran had brought one of his room mates along some guy named Bo from Texas.
Normally the Americans that are out and about traveling the world are good people the same as you or I, its the ones that hang out in the middle playing banjos and voting Republican that you need to be worried about. There was something about Bo that didn't quite compute, he was introduced to me as a football coach I joked that our version of football deserves the name more after all it was not only historically existed first but we actually use our foot to kick the ball for the entire game. This annoyed him and I backed off.
I walk a lot, I like walking especially with my ipod because then I can either learn something or kind of dance while I'm walking to the music. I enjoy both very much. Its only a 10 -15 minute walk to town. I've just noticed that a 10 minute walk sounds short but a 15 minute walk sounds long ... interesting.
Anyway a couple of minutes into the walk Bo asked why don't we get the tram, I replied because its only a short walk, Bo grumbled, I added besides by the time we wait for a tram at this time in the night we might as well have walked there. This flagged as strange the drunk Irish guy who had never done any exercise ever was happy to walk but the super fit American wanted to get the tram.
When we arrived at the pub (the Joint) the machinations from the Bo guy just didn't sit well, the people I had hand picked for tonight where on the whole very smart, funny and kinda lent to the left politically. Somehow George Bush got mentioned and Bo proudly said I voted for him.
... A silence griped the assembled table ...
It was as if a steak had just been thrown into a pack of hungry dogs, there was a pause, the calm before the storm so to speak as everyone just process they had received from there senses. Even though we had only consumed a couple of beers by this point we seemed very ready to blame Bo for pretty much all the problems in the world. It really wasn't a fair fight we outnumbered him five to one, and he would continue to make matters worse for himself by saying some really uninformed things like George Bush is obviously really smart. I was temped to phone Gena and tell her that one of her country men was embarrassing himself and she should come down here to fix him. Very shortly Bo left and conversation returned to normal.
In fact a little to normal, the guys wanted chicks, I said a few things they called bullshit and I was called open to demonstrate my dukedom. They would point out a table of women I would go over there and start talking, then far to rapidly the entire of team Mike would bundle over mob handed and pretty much spoil everything. It was like trying to fish with a bunch of angry toddlers jumping in the water shortly after you cast your line.
I was quite happy to feed them women in fact I was enjoying the social status but they were getting a little to veracious, and the whole table charging in just wasn't working.
I went for a new tactic I would speak to individual or small groups, and them pass them off one at a time to one of my friends. But like a Vulture, one of them would swoop in the moment I disengaged for more than a second with any women that I happened to be talking to. This seemed better, but not ideal. Anyway it was about three in the morning by now and I had to be up for work in four hours. I left them at the pub and got a taxi back home.
Monday, 13 August 2007
We're gonna need a montage (Montage!)
There is a girl in my hostel named Lauren, she's very nice and I've shared a couple of drinks with her and some light funny text conversations. All well and good except her boyfriend is a complete over protective possessive psychopath, I was about to find this out in my own special brand, head first Blogortunity way (aka the hard way).
Lauren was due to meet Mr Psycho outside the hostel and was a couple of minutes late due to talking to me. Her boyfriend stayed in the car outside and sent a couple of lackies in to pick her up. They arrived in the bar, looked pretty shocked when they found her with me and told her that her presence was required outside. This reminded me so much of Mafia movies I couldn't help but notice and ask them, how do you become henchman? I've always thought I would have use for a couple.
They smiled and explained that they were only coming in because ... well they where scared what Jay would do if he came in and saw Lauren doing ... well exactly what she was doing. Somewhat relieved that I hadn't just flirted with the God Fathers girlfriend I set about having another drink or two with the other people that frequent my hostel bar.
Later that night Lauren phoned my almost in tears after the inquisition she had just suffered, I was really shocked to find out that she had only been with him about three weeks and she didn't even really like him. Its just he didn't really give her and choice and she was already scared.
I explained that things where only going to get worse and pointed out a few things and this and that would hopefully help her realize that. Basically, even though I was somewhat biased because of her blond attractive nature I decided she would be better off without a crazy person in her life. She agreed and we stopped the conversation with her ready to call it off (I recommended in a public place)
I didn't see her for a couple of days, then one night I walked past her in the corridor shes looked really worried and scared. I said hi she said I can't stop now hes waiting outside for me again. That morning at about 05:00 am I was awoken by a text from Lauren, I wouldn't normally answer a text at five in the morning but this one might be an emergency.
The conversation was as follows:
L: 'Are you awake?'
M: 'I am now, are you ok? You looked really worried when I last saw you, at least 10 years older than normal'
L: 'Why would I be worried I was with J'
M: 'Because hes a psycho hose beast thats going to kill you one day and wear your skin as a suit'
The texts stopped, that evening I happened to bump into Lauren again and she denied all knowledge of the text messages, I showed her them on my phone and she had them on her phone too. Thats right her boyfriend had got up at five in the morning gone through her phone and pretended to be her. Thats also right, hes crazy and stupid because he didn't even delete the messages on her phone. Yeah right again I had just sent a text message to a nutter saying that he was a psycho hose beast that was going to skin and kill his girlfriend ... D'oh!
The next evening I get a call form Laurens boyfriend from her phone.
'I've got some questions to ask you, Why are you calling my girl? I would like to speak to you outside'
In my mind the words outside normally mean that the talking would involve a little more physical contact then normal. I decided to test the situation and see what the stakes where.
'What happened to you to make you so crazy?'
He exploded, my unconscious took control, I vaguely remembered some Sensi telling me once that the angrier a person was the more they wanted to fight but the less well they could do it because of how tense they would be. My minds auto pilot seemed set on testing this. I to be honest was getting worried and the phrase 'your egos writing checks your body can't cash came to mind' But the rational brain was in the back seat by now as the raging cave man part of my brain ... high on adrenaline was on a mission to beat up the bad guy and save the girl.
The phone call ended, I talked to my unconscious,
'What the hell was that?'
It responded by turning my mind into a Rocky movie montage like thing, it was scanning through all the fights I had even been in all the trainings I had gone to. It was working stuff out at a speed that I wasn't really able to grasp. Kind of reminded me of a computer program loading in very old software. I just started stretching and warming up, I went down stairs very calm and waited. I guess this was one of those times I was going to be tested.
About forty minutes passed, I gave Lauren a call, she said the words 'Hes Coming ....' the phone then went dead. Yes! The phone went dead while she was mid sentence... boy my life had just turned into a Quentin Tarantino Movie! I waited another hour it was one in the morning by now, I sent a text saying look I'm off to bed if you decide to show up call me. I barely slept that night my mind was still high on whatever man juice hormone fight or flight cocktail it had brewed for the occasion.
I got up in the morning my mind was still thinking about fighting, I did as much exercise as I could to burn off the hormones and get my brain back to some semballence of normallity. That helpped a lot. This leads us to where we are now, I text Lauren about once a week to check shes still alive and this seems to be the end of the matter ... or is it?
Lauren was due to meet Mr Psycho outside the hostel and was a couple of minutes late due to talking to me. Her boyfriend stayed in the car outside and sent a couple of lackies in to pick her up. They arrived in the bar, looked pretty shocked when they found her with me and told her that her presence was required outside. This reminded me so much of Mafia movies I couldn't help but notice and ask them, how do you become henchman? I've always thought I would have use for a couple.
They smiled and explained that they were only coming in because ... well they where scared what Jay would do if he came in and saw Lauren doing ... well exactly what she was doing. Somewhat relieved that I hadn't just flirted with the God Fathers girlfriend I set about having another drink or two with the other people that frequent my hostel bar.
Later that night Lauren phoned my almost in tears after the inquisition she had just suffered, I was really shocked to find out that she had only been with him about three weeks and she didn't even really like him. Its just he didn't really give her and choice and she was already scared.
I explained that things where only going to get worse and pointed out a few things and this and that would hopefully help her realize that. Basically, even though I was somewhat biased because of her blond attractive nature I decided she would be better off without a crazy person in her life. She agreed and we stopped the conversation with her ready to call it off (I recommended in a public place)
I didn't see her for a couple of days, then one night I walked past her in the corridor shes looked really worried and scared. I said hi she said I can't stop now hes waiting outside for me again. That morning at about 05:00 am I was awoken by a text from Lauren, I wouldn't normally answer a text at five in the morning but this one might be an emergency.
The conversation was as follows:
L: 'Are you awake?'
M: 'I am now, are you ok? You looked really worried when I last saw you, at least 10 years older than normal'
L: 'Why would I be worried I was with J'
M: 'Because hes a psycho hose beast thats going to kill you one day and wear your skin as a suit'
The texts stopped, that evening I happened to bump into Lauren again and she denied all knowledge of the text messages, I showed her them on my phone and she had them on her phone too. Thats right her boyfriend had got up at five in the morning gone through her phone and pretended to be her. Thats also right, hes crazy and stupid because he didn't even delete the messages on her phone. Yeah right again I had just sent a text message to a nutter saying that he was a psycho hose beast that was going to skin and kill his girlfriend ... D'oh!
The next evening I get a call form Laurens boyfriend from her phone.
'I've got some questions to ask you, Why are you calling my girl? I would like to speak to you outside'
In my mind the words outside normally mean that the talking would involve a little more physical contact then normal. I decided to test the situation and see what the stakes where.
'What happened to you to make you so crazy?'
He exploded, my unconscious took control, I vaguely remembered some Sensi telling me once that the angrier a person was the more they wanted to fight but the less well they could do it because of how tense they would be. My minds auto pilot seemed set on testing this. I to be honest was getting worried and the phrase 'your egos writing checks your body can't cash came to mind' But the rational brain was in the back seat by now as the raging cave man part of my brain ... high on adrenaline was on a mission to beat up the bad guy and save the girl.
The phone call ended, I talked to my unconscious,
'What the hell was that?'
It responded by turning my mind into a Rocky movie montage like thing, it was scanning through all the fights I had even been in all the trainings I had gone to. It was working stuff out at a speed that I wasn't really able to grasp. Kind of reminded me of a computer program loading in very old software. I just started stretching and warming up, I went down stairs very calm and waited. I guess this was one of those times I was going to be tested.
About forty minutes passed, I gave Lauren a call, she said the words 'Hes Coming ....' the phone then went dead. Yes! The phone went dead while she was mid sentence... boy my life had just turned into a Quentin Tarantino Movie! I waited another hour it was one in the morning by now, I sent a text saying look I'm off to bed if you decide to show up call me. I barely slept that night my mind was still high on whatever man juice hormone fight or flight cocktail it had brewed for the occasion.
I got up in the morning my mind was still thinking about fighting, I did as much exercise as I could to burn off the hormones and get my brain back to some semballence of normallity. That helpped a lot. This leads us to where we are now, I text Lauren about once a week to check shes still alive and this seems to be the end of the matter ... or is it?
Friday, 10 August 2007
Friday
Well well well, Friday night again. I was so up for this weekend, after my first full week of work it was party time. I have a girl that I'm really quite fond off (by the way it might not be you! ;o) Stop being noisy and reading my blog, you should be studying for your masters!) , I thought it would be nice to enjoy a few quiet drinks without the compulsion to go and gather phone numbers.
I went to The order a nice place, but like a lot of the cooler bars in Melbourne it didn't fill up to later. If your on your own in a bar you really need other people there, there where a few groups of people scattered around but only two groups of women without a male escort. I got a beer, stood by the bar ... and ... well ... drank some of it ... something was missing ... I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I decided something odd might be going on and it would be best to check with unescorted women group one. Safety in numbers and all that.
They where pretty cool, I was very impressed with myself not getting their phone number, but I think that kind of disappointed them. I decided to leave before they tried to force it upon me.
Now unlike the photos linked above The Order its really dark inside and just as I was leaving unescorted women group two happend to be leaving too. I asked them casually if they knew any good places to go to and they kind of kidnapped me. Once we got to the less dim lights of the streets I noticed that I have just been kidnapped by a middle aged group of women.
The true horror of this fact sank in when I was in the taxi with them heading to a pub outside Melbourne.
'Well you see for every seven single women in Melbourne over thirty there is only one single man'
There where 4 of them and one of me, almost half their normal odds, I was deep in enemy territory and surrounded, part of me wanted to jump out of the car while it was still moving, part of me wanted to stay this out to the end so I could write about it in my blog. you guys don't realise the sacrasies I make for my readership, this may be an ammusing read to you but to me it is my life! I decided to keep my composure and continue our dialog.
'Was there a big war or something that killed all the men?'
The taxi pulled up in the middle of nowhere, we queued to get into a bar, then once inside the bar we queued again to get upstairs. At least for the inside queue we had drinks. One of the women had developed this habit of backing into me, I would be standing there then she would stand in front of me and reverse until she touched me. I moved away every time she did this, but she retested every hour or so in case I had changed my mind.
Luckily one of there younger friends was upstairs and I got talking to her, her name was Sue and she owned horses. I parked myself by the bar to protect myself from random reversing and set about trying to get free horse riding lessons. Sues relative youth seemed to project a protective aura that kept my kidnappers at bay. They would stop by form time to time to give me a drink but then move on. When she went to the toilet they all started to approach again. If they captured me again they might not let me escape ... I dashed off to the one safe place I could think of the men's toilets.
You know sometimes when you go up to the urinal and you just can't pee and its really embarrassing because your just standing there not peeing? Well its worse if you only went to the toilet for protection and stood up next to the urinal and tried to pee out of habit rather than actually needing to. After a few more drinks Sue gave me a lift home my chastity intact, I really should be more careful, that was a close one I dread to think what would of happened if she hadn't been there.
I went to The order a nice place, but like a lot of the cooler bars in Melbourne it didn't fill up to later. If your on your own in a bar you really need other people there, there where a few groups of people scattered around but only two groups of women without a male escort. I got a beer, stood by the bar ... and ... well ... drank some of it ... something was missing ... I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I decided something odd might be going on and it would be best to check with unescorted women group one. Safety in numbers and all that.
They where pretty cool, I was very impressed with myself not getting their phone number, but I think that kind of disappointed them. I decided to leave before they tried to force it upon me.
Now unlike the photos linked above The Order its really dark inside and just as I was leaving unescorted women group two happend to be leaving too. I asked them casually if they knew any good places to go to and they kind of kidnapped me. Once we got to the less dim lights of the streets I noticed that I have just been kidnapped by a middle aged group of women.
The true horror of this fact sank in when I was in the taxi with them heading to a pub outside Melbourne.
'Well you see for every seven single women in Melbourne over thirty there is only one single man'
There where 4 of them and one of me, almost half their normal odds, I was deep in enemy territory and surrounded, part of me wanted to jump out of the car while it was still moving, part of me wanted to stay this out to the end so I could write about it in my blog. you guys don't realise the sacrasies I make for my readership, this may be an ammusing read to you but to me it is my life! I decided to keep my composure and continue our dialog.
'Was there a big war or something that killed all the men?'
The taxi pulled up in the middle of nowhere, we queued to get into a bar, then once inside the bar we queued again to get upstairs. At least for the inside queue we had drinks. One of the women had developed this habit of backing into me, I would be standing there then she would stand in front of me and reverse until she touched me. I moved away every time she did this, but she retested every hour or so in case I had changed my mind.
Luckily one of there younger friends was upstairs and I got talking to her, her name was Sue and she owned horses. I parked myself by the bar to protect myself from random reversing and set about trying to get free horse riding lessons. Sues relative youth seemed to project a protective aura that kept my kidnappers at bay. They would stop by form time to time to give me a drink but then move on. When she went to the toilet they all started to approach again. If they captured me again they might not let me escape ... I dashed off to the one safe place I could think of the men's toilets.
You know sometimes when you go up to the urinal and you just can't pee and its really embarrassing because your just standing there not peeing? Well its worse if you only went to the toilet for protection and stood up next to the urinal and tried to pee out of habit rather than actually needing to. After a few more drinks Sue gave me a lift home my chastity intact, I really should be more careful, that was a close one I dread to think what would of happened if she hadn't been there.
Wednesday, 8 August 2007
Pay Day!
I had forgotten the joy of pay day, for the first time in over a year my bank account actually went up! That's such a nice felling, I had almost taken it for granted before. I know its just number on a screen but looking at those numbers go up put a big old smile on my face.
I also had my first moment where I felt Melburnian, someone asked me for directions and I actually knew the way.
Out of interest I went to a Socialist Alternative meeting again, for about half the meeting I was bored and the other half I was cringing at how bad these guys where at public speaking. What they where talking about was a really interesting subject, important things that happened in history that are almost being covered up by the education system/media. Its just they presented it in such a bad way I struggled to stay focused.
They tried to get me to give them $150 dollars to get on a bus to go to Sydney with them, they also wanted me to buy lots of over priced pamphlets and because of my salary donate $80 a week! I get the feeling I was about the only non student or pensioner there and they wanted me to bank roll their cell. Well that's not me, I agree that the current system has some pretty big holes in it, but it mostly works. I really don't think having a revolution and starting again from scratch will help much.
There will always be people that seek to exploit whatever system we have as John Lennon said If you want to learn to lead you need to learn to smile while you kill.
I also had my first moment where I felt Melburnian, someone asked me for directions and I actually knew the way.
Out of interest I went to a Socialist Alternative meeting again, for about half the meeting I was bored and the other half I was cringing at how bad these guys where at public speaking. What they where talking about was a really interesting subject, important things that happened in history that are almost being covered up by the education system/media. Its just they presented it in such a bad way I struggled to stay focused.
They tried to get me to give them $150 dollars to get on a bus to go to Sydney with them, they also wanted me to buy lots of over priced pamphlets and because of my salary donate $80 a week! I get the feeling I was about the only non student or pensioner there and they wanted me to bank roll their cell. Well that's not me, I agree that the current system has some pretty big holes in it, but it mostly works. I really don't think having a revolution and starting again from scratch will help much.
There will always be people that seek to exploit whatever system we have as John Lennon said If you want to learn to lead you need to learn to smile while you kill.
Monday, 6 August 2007
Job Daze
It was strange to be working again, because of this and that I hadn't had a job for over a year. Boy did working again hit me like a ton of bricks!
It was seven o'clock, not the nice seven o'clock when you meet people for dinner or drinks its evil morning twin that I had completely forgotten about took me by surprise. My alarm was ringing and I was distraught I didn't want to be awake yet, I could feel the warmth of my sheets, I was under a cosy sleepy malaise. I panicked what could I do, I had to get up for work, but I wanted to sleep more.
SNOOZE. Holly mother of God! I had forgotten about the snooze button, the thought of the snooze button united ever fiber of my body as it resonated to a truly great feature of human engineering at its very best. Yeah the Egyptians built some giant triangles, the Chinese put some bricks down in a line, but the snooze button rocks way more than they do! Elated I pressed it and settled down for another glorious 9 minutes of sleep. Having been removed form this habit for a while I was surprisingly aware of the internal negation that went on during this time.
Ring Ring ... I don't need to shave, and why brush my teeth I haven't eating anything in hours
9 minutes later
Ring Ring ... I don't need a shower I had one yesterday.
9 minutes later
Ring Ring ... Breakfast? The most important meal of the day? Not today pal.
Seriously can you imagine skipping any other meal like that.
'Michael dinners ready'
'Don't worry about it I'm just going to sleep for 9 minutes instead'
But anyway its was my second day and by lunch time the novelty of being at work again had worn off and I was bored, really bored. I had promised myself I was going to actually work this time round. I had perfected slacking off while appearing productive to such a degree that I would normally do less than an hours actual work a day in my prime. I once spent two weeks doing nothing but playing Tetris, I enjoyed my brief stint as a profession Tetris player, far more than the high pressure week I spent trying to complete Spider Solitaire on hard.
I had promised myself to reform, but well this job was dull and the Internet is interesting. Working doesn't suit me and I seemed to be more productive in my hour than most people seemed to be in a day anyway. Maybe I should find a job that interests me and engages my mind. I've slacked off so much in the past I'm actually bored now of slacking off, in fact thinking about it, I'm going to find an interesting job!
It was seven o'clock, not the nice seven o'clock when you meet people for dinner or drinks its evil morning twin that I had completely forgotten about took me by surprise. My alarm was ringing and I was distraught I didn't want to be awake yet, I could feel the warmth of my sheets, I was under a cosy sleepy malaise. I panicked what could I do, I had to get up for work, but I wanted to sleep more.
SNOOZE. Holly mother of God! I had forgotten about the snooze button, the thought of the snooze button united ever fiber of my body as it resonated to a truly great feature of human engineering at its very best. Yeah the Egyptians built some giant triangles, the Chinese put some bricks down in a line, but the snooze button rocks way more than they do! Elated I pressed it and settled down for another glorious 9 minutes of sleep. Having been removed form this habit for a while I was surprisingly aware of the internal negation that went on during this time.
Ring Ring ... I don't need to shave, and why brush my teeth I haven't eating anything in hours
9 minutes later
Ring Ring ... I don't need a shower I had one yesterday.
9 minutes later
Ring Ring ... Breakfast? The most important meal of the day? Not today pal.
Seriously can you imagine skipping any other meal like that.
'Michael dinners ready'
'Don't worry about it I'm just going to sleep for 9 minutes instead'
But anyway its was my second day and by lunch time the novelty of being at work again had worn off and I was bored, really bored. I had promised myself I was going to actually work this time round. I had perfected slacking off while appearing productive to such a degree that I would normally do less than an hours actual work a day in my prime. I once spent two weeks doing nothing but playing Tetris, I enjoyed my brief stint as a profession Tetris player, far more than the high pressure week I spent trying to complete Spider Solitaire on hard.
I had promised myself to reform, but well this job was dull and the Internet is interesting. Working doesn't suit me and I seemed to be more productive in my hour than most people seemed to be in a day anyway. Maybe I should find a job that interests me and engages my mind. I've slacked off so much in the past I'm actually bored now of slacking off, in fact thinking about it, I'm going to find an interesting job!
Saturday, 4 August 2007
Revolution, Revolution!
It was Sunday, I didn't have any particular plains today, so for fun I went the Anti Nuclear march, I'm not particularly against Nuclear power or weapons it just I've not been to a protest before. Its a hot topic in Australia at the moment as it contains about 25% of the world Uranium reserves, but doesn't have any nuclear power stations or weapons.
To make things more heated they have just discovered vast amounts of Uranium under the small tracts of land the already heavily persecuted Aboriginal population owns. Apparently John Howard the Australian prime minister (Ultra right wing, think Margaret Thatcher meets George Bush) has just sent the army and police in to take control of the areas.
I joined the march, their was a contingent in the march waving red flags and they had some drummers with them. I marched with them mostly because I really liked the drumming, they also gave me a red flag to wave, I've never held a flag before so I waved it with a lot of vigor ... I was really enjoying myself marching to the drums waving my flag, chatting to the odd person.
It was interesting to hear lots of people chanting different things, but occasionally a single chant would catch on and the crowd would unite as one to chant it. I didn't join in, because well I really wanted my flag waving and marching to do the talking. This was noticed and a couple of other red flag bearers came up to me and asked why I wasn't joining in. In an all to typical moment I had to think of an intelligent reason as I didn't think my flag waving would cut it. Especially under the circumstances, they might take my flag away and I was becoming really rather attached to it.
'I don't really know enough about whats going on to chant, I'm not the type to just chant just because other people are'
For some reason they where really impressed by this, and set about trying to recruit me for their movement. I probably should have just told them about the flag and drum thing. They made me an offer I couldn't refuse, they where meeting in a pub after the march and offered to buy me a drink if I came along. The other thing that really swung it was I got to send a text message to whatever girl I was meeting on that day saying.
'Sorry can't make it today, I've joined Socialist Alternative we are going to fix the world!'
She didn't reply ... ever again! Oh well, it was worth it, how often do you get to send a text like that?
The meeting started off fun, lots of lively debate, I seemed to be stuck in the role of devils advocate. Some people would make wild claims that just didn't ring true, I know language well enough now to tell when someones trying to pull a fast one. I think they welcomed having someone to get annoyed at.
Anyway for an anti capitalist organization they tried to sell me a lot of stuff, as the meeting progressed and more beer was drank, talk turned to the Socialist Revolution, this is where they lost me really. For starters I'm a big fan of Capitalism and all its many benefits, besides am I allowed to start a Revolution on a 417 working holiday visa?
To make things more heated they have just discovered vast amounts of Uranium under the small tracts of land the already heavily persecuted Aboriginal population owns. Apparently John Howard the Australian prime minister (Ultra right wing, think Margaret Thatcher meets George Bush) has just sent the army and police in to take control of the areas.
I joined the march, their was a contingent in the march waving red flags and they had some drummers with them. I marched with them mostly because I really liked the drumming, they also gave me a red flag to wave, I've never held a flag before so I waved it with a lot of vigor ... I was really enjoying myself marching to the drums waving my flag, chatting to the odd person.
It was interesting to hear lots of people chanting different things, but occasionally a single chant would catch on and the crowd would unite as one to chant it. I didn't join in, because well I really wanted my flag waving and marching to do the talking. This was noticed and a couple of other red flag bearers came up to me and asked why I wasn't joining in. In an all to typical moment I had to think of an intelligent reason as I didn't think my flag waving would cut it. Especially under the circumstances, they might take my flag away and I was becoming really rather attached to it.
'I don't really know enough about whats going on to chant, I'm not the type to just chant just because other people are'
For some reason they where really impressed by this, and set about trying to recruit me for their movement. I probably should have just told them about the flag and drum thing. They made me an offer I couldn't refuse, they where meeting in a pub after the march and offered to buy me a drink if I came along. The other thing that really swung it was I got to send a text message to whatever girl I was meeting on that day saying.
'Sorry can't make it today, I've joined Socialist Alternative we are going to fix the world!'
She didn't reply ... ever again! Oh well, it was worth it, how often do you get to send a text like that?
The meeting started off fun, lots of lively debate, I seemed to be stuck in the role of devils advocate. Some people would make wild claims that just didn't ring true, I know language well enough now to tell when someones trying to pull a fast one. I think they welcomed having someone to get annoyed at.
Anyway for an anti capitalist organization they tried to sell me a lot of stuff, as the meeting progressed and more beer was drank, talk turned to the Socialist Revolution, this is where they lost me really. For starters I'm a big fan of Capitalism and all its many benefits, besides am I allowed to start a Revolution on a 417 working holiday visa?
Thursday, 2 August 2007
Job hunting
Well even after my five hour interview ordeal I didn't get the test consultant job. It was a really strange rejection though, a week after the interview the HR girl phoned me and said (exact quote)
'I'm sorry were really gutted but we can't offer you a job'
Then went on to explain that the reason they took a week to call me was they where trying to squeeze me in somehow. Any how it was time to look for a new job, it was about half eleven and I had just walked into a job agency in Melbourne.
'I'm sorry you need to phone and make an appointment first' said the receptionist almost angry that I had dared to walk in uninvited.
'Ok, do you have the phone number of who I need to call? Are they busy at the moment?'
I got the number and he wasn't seeing anyone so I phoned him up and explained that I was in reception and would like speak to you about getting a job? To the receptionists dismay he agreed and we had a nice chat, he was shocked at how rude the receptionist was to me. I was just happy that I had phoned him from reception in front of her. It reminded me once of when I was in a curry house and they where taking so long to bring our food we phoned the take away number and placed our order again. They where very shocked to hear our address was table twelve.
The next recruitment place was even better, I walked in and the receptionist was just in the middle of sending me off explaining that they don't normally do IT jobs, as one of the recruitment agents I would latter get to know as Matt came in. The receptionist paused and looked at him as he said.
'Do we have any IT people on the books?'
The job was as a VB developer not my normal area of expertise, I explained that I had done some in college (it was only 8 years ago) and if he gave me a computer for a couple of hours I could learn it well enough to pass an interview. He lent me a training computer I downloaded VB 2005 express and set about teaching myself the language I would need to blag an interview. I then went straight to the interview still wearing my jumper that by now had some slight Chinese stains on it from lunch. I passed the interview on the spot and was due to start work the next day on a three week contract.
After Matt finished worked he call me and took me out for a beer, he was pretty amazed at what I had just pulled out of the bag, in fact a little to amazed to be honest. I basically did my normal conversational trick I use with guys of saying pretty much nothing apart from nodding yes or asking a question about their last sentence or two. Within an hour he was asking me if I would like to be the computer guy on a possibly very lucrative science project he was working on. Not content with this he also asked if I wanted to live in the extension he was just about to finish on his house and would I like to buy his car very cheap. I thanked him politely and left before he started stalking me. Its really weird how well people get on with you when you don't say anything.
'I'm sorry were really gutted but we can't offer you a job'
Then went on to explain that the reason they took a week to call me was they where trying to squeeze me in somehow. Any how it was time to look for a new job, it was about half eleven and I had just walked into a job agency in Melbourne.
'I'm sorry you need to phone and make an appointment first' said the receptionist almost angry that I had dared to walk in uninvited.
'Ok, do you have the phone number of who I need to call? Are they busy at the moment?'
I got the number and he wasn't seeing anyone so I phoned him up and explained that I was in reception and would like speak to you about getting a job? To the receptionists dismay he agreed and we had a nice chat, he was shocked at how rude the receptionist was to me. I was just happy that I had phoned him from reception in front of her. It reminded me once of when I was in a curry house and they where taking so long to bring our food we phoned the take away number and placed our order again. They where very shocked to hear our address was table twelve.
The next recruitment place was even better, I walked in and the receptionist was just in the middle of sending me off explaining that they don't normally do IT jobs, as one of the recruitment agents I would latter get to know as Matt came in. The receptionist paused and looked at him as he said.
'Do we have any IT people on the books?'
The job was as a VB developer not my normal area of expertise, I explained that I had done some in college (it was only 8 years ago) and if he gave me a computer for a couple of hours I could learn it well enough to pass an interview. He lent me a training computer I downloaded VB 2005 express and set about teaching myself the language I would need to blag an interview. I then went straight to the interview still wearing my jumper that by now had some slight Chinese stains on it from lunch. I passed the interview on the spot and was due to start work the next day on a three week contract.
After Matt finished worked he call me and took me out for a beer, he was pretty amazed at what I had just pulled out of the bag, in fact a little to amazed to be honest. I basically did my normal conversational trick I use with guys of saying pretty much nothing apart from nodding yes or asking a question about their last sentence or two. Within an hour he was asking me if I would like to be the computer guy on a possibly very lucrative science project he was working on. Not content with this he also asked if I wanted to live in the extension he was just about to finish on his house and would I like to buy his car very cheap. I thanked him politely and left before he started stalking me. Its really weird how well people get on with you when you don't say anything.
Wednesday, 1 August 2007
The Truth, you cant handle the truth!
Because the contents of this post may come back to bite me in later life it has been classified. Simply send me an email an I will send you your blog entry if you have the security clearance.
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