I don't know I've never been attacked by a tree

A great thing happened this morning, I normally get into work as early as possible to get it over with and have as much of an evening left over as possible. The other guy that normally gets in around 8 o'clock didn't turn up and I was getting paid to stand around outside and listen to Music. This was even better then when your getting payed to go to the toilet during work, its one of those things that always makes me smile and helps me through the work day.

It was a brilliantly sunny morning I was awe struck by the three trees in front of where I worked, the greenness of the leaves just seemed so perfectly coordinated with the blue sky. If you look close enough every leaf is a slightly different shade of green It never ceases to just who pretty our perception of reality is. I'm aware that its probably these colours that have been present since we started evolving have probably shaped our perceptions and tastes, but I can't think of a reason why we would gain an evolutionary advantage in finding it so pretty.

I had been reading some Plato during the week, reading philosophy is probably a very dangerous thing for me to do as I almost without fail will try on the ways of thinking and beliefs. The reason I was so fascinated by the trees is that because all three of them looked so different but we instantly recognise them all as trees. Plato noticed this as postulated that somewhere on a non physical plane there existed an ideal form of a tree and its by similarities to these ideal forms that we recognise things.

This may sound odd/obvious/even stupid now but its a wonderful original bit of noticing and thinking a massive jump from every thing is the way it is because of the will of gods. It sounds even better if you change the on a non physical plane part to a concept in your head part. There is a bush outside my work that has a small trunk and branches quite similar to a tree, I started to wonder what makes one thing a bush and one thing a tree. I know your probably thinking size you idiot, bushes are smaller than trees! I'm aware of this, but I was thinking isn't a bush different to a baby tree, a bush can even be bigger than a bonsai tree. How much do you need to enlarge this bush by in order for it to register as a tree. If you get a bush and start morphing it into a tree is there some point in the middle where it is equally both or neither?

Then another guy from work came and let me in.

More Work? zug zug

Work was really starting to become like well ... really hard work. The work itself was dirty but really easy, I could do the job in my sleep maybe this was part of the problem.

I absolutely love listening to music as I walk around, so I normally arrive at work buzzing with excitement and happiness then on the way in I pass some kind of invisible barrier that strips that from me. I get in, sit down and time slows down ... way down. I can sit there for what feels like ten or twenty minutes and only five minutes have passed. I've tried hiding the clock on my computer so I'm not constantly checking it but that doesn't help.

I'm starting to feel every single minute, my chair is getting increasingly uncomfortable, the sound of the fans on the servers next to me grows more grating and I can feel the for sale sign embedding itself deeper into my soul. I'm getting so desperate to pass time that I'm eating a lot more, popping out to the shop next door can painlessly pass a few more minutes almost 10 if you eat what you got from the shop slowly. My lunch partner likes to eat lunch around 12:30 but several times now its got to 12:00 and I've just had to go to lunch, I need to get out of there. Also nearly every lunch hour someone else would be coming to do something on my computer. I have a screen saver that kicks in after 45 minutes and its quite rare for my screen saver to be on when I returned from my hour lunch break.

The onset of boredom and resentment kicked in way quicker that I was expecting it to, I had never been an official developer before I was hoping that would make a difference. When I arrive at work I really do want to work, this passionless way of spending half my waking day really gnaws at me. Its just when I sit down in front of the computer my mind rebels it just struggles to do things it isn't interested in, luckily these days there is an Internet and I have a good stock of mp3's to listen to. I don't know what I would do without them.

I almost walked out today, one of the senior developers that I'm good friends with had a big shouting match with the guy that owns the company. His angry words struck a cord with me as it was all the normal complaints that I have heard and felt over the years, I decided in a moment of solidarity that if he walked out I would too, he didn't.

I know rationally that I probably need a reference from these guys and that earning money is good but ... there has to be a better way. My contract now has run out with them, but they are very keen for me to stay. I've negotiated a four day week which is a splint but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on there.

I remember it wasn't always like this there where times in the past when I actually really enjoyed going to work, I used to really care about the quality of what I did. Looking back now these tended to be the times when I was creating things, innervating or at the very least thinking and learning.

Job Daze

It was strange to be working again, because of this and that I hadn't had a job for over a year. Boy did working again hit me like a ton of bricks!

It was seven o'clock, not the nice seven o'clock when you meet people for dinner or drinks its evil morning twin that I had completely forgotten about took me by surprise. My alarm was ringing and I was distraught I didn't want to be awake yet, I could feel the warmth of my sheets, I was under a cosy sleepy malaise. I panicked what could I do, I had to get up for work, but I wanted to sleep more.

SNOOZE. Holly mother of God! I had forgotten about the snooze button, the thought of the snooze button united ever fiber of my body as it resonated to a truly great feature of human engineering at its very best. Yeah the Egyptians built some giant triangles, the Chinese put some bricks down in a line, but the snooze button rocks way more than they do! Elated I pressed it and settled down for another glorious 9 minutes of sleep. Having been removed form this habit for a while I was surprisingly aware of the internal negation that went on during this time.

Ring Ring ... I don't need to shave, and why brush my teeth I haven't eating anything in hours
9 minutes later

Ring Ring ... I don't need a shower I had one yesterday.
9 minutes later

Ring Ring ... Breakfast? The most important meal of the day? Not today pal.

Seriously can you imagine skipping any other meal like that.

'Michael dinners ready'

'Don't worry about it I'm just going to sleep for 9 minutes instead'

But anyway its was my second day and by lunch time the novelty of being at work again had worn off and I was bored, really bored. I had promised myself I was going to actually work this time round. I had perfected slacking off while appearing productive to such a degree that I would normally do less than an hours actual work a day in my prime. I once spent two weeks doing nothing but playing Tetris, I enjoyed my brief stint as a profession Tetris player, far more than the high pressure week I spent trying to complete Spider Solitaire on hard.

I had promised myself to reform, but well this job was dull and the Internet is interesting. Working doesn't suit me and I seemed to be more productive in my hour than most people seemed to be in a day anyway. Maybe I should find a job that interests me and engages my mind. I've slacked off so much in the past I'm actually bored now of slacking off, in fact thinking about it, I'm going to find an interesting job!