Shark 'n Chips

Now starting with the most important discovery of today, whenever you buy fish and chips in Australia you tend to get a fish called flake, after several portions of flake I inquired as to what it was. The Lady at the shop looked me dead in the eye and calmly replied Shark as if it was a normal and every day thing to eat Jaws. As much as I enjoy eating animals that by all rights in the natural world should be eating me it just seems a little odd. Surely fish are easier to catch then sharks are? Even if Australia's waters are completely Shark infested surely they must be equally fish infested in order for the multitude of Sharks to feast.

Tonight me and Gena were heading out into town to meet Martin the recruitment guy, I had warned her about him and was actually kind of worried that he might act more normal under the pressure of an audience. This in turn would make me look weird ... I needn't have worried. He was with a girl from work and his girlfriend who wasn't present was texting him about how annoyed she was at him for going out and not inviting her. He was showing the messages around like a kid with a shiny new toy ... till one message contained the words.

'Go find a girl that you actually want to have sex with'

Well it was something very similar to that, it probably had a 'u' instead of a 'you' I can't be sure as the moment we got to that point in the message, Martin in a move so quick that David Blaine would have been proud of moved his phone back into his pocket. Martin was making me feel very uncomfortable he would kind of commentate on me and tell me things like 'your quite a character'. It reminded me of that kid that follows Bruce Willis around in Die Hard 4, I'm much more comfortable with people teasing me. The evening passed pleasantly Gena made the mistake of telling Martin that I was looking for a place to live, he instantly replied

'oh he will live at mine'

Notice the word 'will' there, that word scares me, normally people would use the word 'can' or at least ask me if I wanted to live at their house. Not just assume that I will live there like it was my destiny, this fact is even more disturbing given the recent coming to light of evidence that he didn't seem to be very interested in sexual relations with women. After a few to many beers me and Gena made out excuses and left. You can tell we are a proper couple now, we are leaving early and everything.

The main reason that I agreed to meet Martin again is that my contract was that my temporary job was coming to an end and it was past time to find a new job. Unfortunately since that night Martin has tried to get me to go forward for one job. A $100,000 a year job! I really like what hes done with the $100,000 thing, I like that, I like that a lot but I get the feeling it would be a really short interview.

Interviewer: 'Have you you got 5 years experience running an IT department for a company with over a thousand employees?'

Me: No

As tempted as I was to give it a go I think even my tricks wouldn't cover over that one.