Running with scissors.

I was meeting Lara today, I had meet her on the okcupid website and we where due to meet today in town just after lunch. I was looking forward to this date (sorry meeting) because I was really anticipating it being very interesting. Her first message to me was one suggesting that we meet and we had exchanged a couple of texts since. Once in a text conversation we got to arranging a meeting time and place I stopped texting and phoned her.

'Why are you phoning me?'

An interesting question that I really wasn't prepared for. I waffled something about it takes me ages to wite text messages and commented that I would bring a paper and pen with me when we meet, so that we could write to each other rather than talk. Later that day she sent me a message apologizing for being rude(Hello Lara by the way, isn't it a bit weird your about to read my review of our date on the Internet?)

We got on really well, she was a little nervous to start with but we very quickly became at ease and where enjoying a really interesting and effortless conversation. She was somewhat quirky for example she would occasionally say things like.

'Do you have scissors?'

I must of looked bewildered as unprompted she explained further

'Not here but in your hostel'

'yes' I replied and the conversation paused for a while.

But I really liked this! It may sound very random but I found it most endearing plus she had a beautiful face, she kind of reminded me of Kate Winslet. We had a great time. As often happens one drink quickly turned into two drinks, then two drinks turned into me going to watch her play netball in the semi finals for some local netball competition.

That's not quite true but sounded so good I had to write it, in between the second drink and the netball game we went to two art galleries looking for the mirror room that looked like it went on forever (it did) and had a coffee in the museum cafe.

Anyway back to the netball, she was filling in for a missing person on but even with her the team was still one person short, I wanted to make my netball debut but sadly I wasn't allowed.

Netball is basically a gay version of basketball.

We went and had some dinner.

Then 30 minutes after dinner a couple more drinks.

Then went back to her house to play Dead or Alive 4on her x-box 360. She prided herself on her DoA4 skills, I had played DoA 3 a little bit, the last girl I played with I beat them playing with my feet with the controller in a different room so I couldn't see the screen. The trash talk was building up nicely and I got to say one of my favourite things to say in the world.

'Your egos writing cheques your body can't cash'

For a girl she was very good, the first couple of games she creamed me while I learnt to play. Once I had mastered the basics I started to win more than I was losing, she visibly started to get upset that I was beating her. In fact she started to get really upset, so I backed off, went easy on her and let her win 10 games to 9.

It was a great first date I really enjoyed myself, around ten o'clock I got a taxi back to the hostel. Cheryl and a few of her friends were there partying they invited me to join. It would have been rude for me not to accept. At about 1 a clock the hostel bar kicked us out. It was a shame I was enjoying breaking the hostel rules and hardly concealing my fragrant disregard for there drinking outside after 10 rule, we moved to some other pub somewhere.

Obviously as a guys that's just had two first class dates first dates this weekend I hooked up with one of Cheryl's friends. Name presently unknown, we got on really well. Around two o'clock it was her round and for some reason she got me a raspberry vodka drink and decided to spill hers on my new favourite shirt (after my old favourite was ruined by red white yesterday).

She dragged me to the girls toilets took my shirt off and spent about 10 minutes cleaning my shirt in the sink. Then drying it under the hand drier. I got some very strange looks, as the other women we not accustomed to half naked men standing in their toilet. But generally they reacted pretty positively considering the circumstances.

About 3 o'clock that pub turfed us out and as the most compos mentis person I was silently and suddenly elected as Sheppard for the drunk. At one point a strange guy who had been jumping on people and wrestling them throughout the evening ran into the road and started freaking out. I sobered up instantly I was on red alert again, there as a car coming towards him pretty fast. I had time for one shot at this I ran into the road grabbed him and somehow moved out out of the road without him being able to resist. This probably wasn't quite as dramatic as it sounded he was removed from the road with several seconds spare and the car probably would have stopped or swerved.

This guy took my moving him out of the road as an act of aggression and he tried to hit me. I cut him a look, that either explained things fully or convinced him he was about to make a very unwise decision. I wish I knew what that look was, it would be most useful in the future. After what seemed like an age my new flock reached the hostel intact, by this time was straight as an arrow and unable to commune with my heard. I went to bed.

*Washing tip if you really want to remove a red wine stain from a shirt, let it dry for a few days then just put it in a normal wash with all your other cloths.