All Nations Comedy

Again what I did during the day escapes me, I'm assuming it can't have been very interesting or I'm sure I would remember it.

This evening I went to the All Nations Backpackers stand up comedy night, it was a very tough night for the comics the bar was tiny but still managed to look completely empty. The yokels that where present seemed to have the attention span of ... well ... in future I will always say the attention span of an Ozzie Yokel, so I might as well start now.

The comics had a novel solution to this, they phoned their friends and very soon a small contingent of comics arrived to watch, laugh and be merry. My friend from last Sunday Anna Joy (I'm assuming that's a stage name) introduced me to them. They where a really great bunch of guys, the bar was supplying the comics that where gigging with free drinks all night which they Robin Hooded around the other comics and myself. We watched comedy, joked and philosophized and joked some more I was making friends, male friends at that, my first since I had arrived in Australia.

The show ended, but the free drinks kept coming, as we got later into the night people started to leave eventually there only three of us remained. Me, Andrew and a guy that looked very much like Steve the Pirate from Dodge ball after he cleaned up. It got to about three o'clock and the bar closed, we pondered where to go next. They seem pretty set on going to a strip club, I told them that I wasn't to sure I've never been to one before and I didn't much feel like being exploited.

They explained to me that a strip club was just like this bar we were just in except that the beer costs more (well I assumed it wouldn't be free) and that naked women dance around. They had twisted my arm, admittedly it was somewhat rubbery on this issue. We headed to Kings Street, Melbourne being the very organized town that it is contains all the Strip bars on one street. Starting with the most expensive at the top working its way down rapidly as you move towards the bottom. On our travel we meet a crazy guy, who wasn't allowed in either but was laying siege to the place sating 'I know pretty women will be coming out soon'. We wished him all the best and moved on.

None of the gorillas on the door would let us in, not even the cheap places! This was strange we where obviously intoxicated, but the nice intelligent and funny intoxicated. We took this as a sign that we looked so bad ass that the bouncers knew they wouldn't be able to handle us if we started some trouble. Then I did something I wasn't very proud of, but in my defence it was four in the morning and by this point and I was very drunk. I went to McDonald's. It was full of very drunk 18 year old girls, all carrying their shoes by this point. They swarmed like locusts around us either trying to eat our food, or grab it and throw it over the balcony.

It the drunken McDonald's conversation I agreed to write a five minute stand up set and do a comedy gig with them. I've been looking for another creative outlet and this seemed like a good idea ... besides sink or swim the blogortunities would flow.