For Saturday night I was meeting Ms X again. We went to a great bar it was called 'The Sanctuary' It was in a maze of alley ways in Melbourne in fact a lot of the bar actually was alley ways with improvised plastic sheeting and heaters to keep the weather off. This may sound terrible but this place had atmosphere and was really nice. Imagine the kind of bar you would get after a post in a post apocalyptic world where a new civilisation was being rebuilt in the ruins of the old. I loved it here and best of all there wasn't a single trace of a punk or punk music anywhere.
I was having a very nice evening, me and Ms X shared some nice conversation and some beer, at one point in the conversation she mentioned:
'I would rather know the truth and it kills me then be lied to'
An interesting thing for her to say I made note of it, it probably wasn't the smartest thing to say to me as I'm painfully honest at the best (well worst) of times. On its own this was OK thing to say but then she said something else that really didn't help:
'How attractive do you think I am?'
I knew this was a trap, I knew how to skillfully sidestep said trap but given her earlier comment about honesty I thought why not give it a try.
'I think your attractive, but not attractive enough for me to ever marry you'
A few seconds of painful silence followed.
She wasn't impressed with my honesty and a long awkward conversation ensued. I could have talked my way out of it, but to be honest I agreed with her when she said (may not have been her exact words but the sentiment is their):
'I want to be with someone that really liked me, not someone that kind of likes me'
She was right she deserved someone that did really like her and I only kind of liked her. I left without putting up any real fight. She already knew and seemed OK with the fact I was flying to Brisbane on Monday and already had a couple of dates lined up their, but I had overstepped the mark again in quite gloriously horrible style, I really should stop doing this. I'm don't feel good about it but still have a kind of pride and sense of humor about my life that seems to protect me from accepting full responsibility for my actions. I again returned to the hostel with a heavy heart.
I then had a stonking good night in the hostel, I hadn't been round the hostel much recently so most of the people their where shiny and new to me, some still even had their wrappers on (I have no idea what that means either).
I was invigorated by all the fun, I love that pretty much all over the world there are fun people that enjoy having a few drinks and conversation. Good people, people like us that enjoy talking about both the trivial and the world changing. This fact especially pleased me there really is an inexhaustible supply of possible friends out here. There are so many great people on this planet that even if I continued to offend them at the rate I had been doing this weekend I couldn't possibly offend them all :o)
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You're doing a great job of finding something to learn about the human state in each day. I think you have a chance of being the new Forrest Gump! (or insert preferred fearless inspirational icon here).
I guess like every other reader out there, I read this piece and had to think "why am I not surprised?" at the end. I had a penpal until recently. She told me she didn't judge people, and would rather know the unvarnished truth than some idealistic fiction.. so I told her about myself, warts and all. Perhaps focussing on the warts, actually, to clear the board. Well, it did, and I haven't heard from her since, once again proving that when women say they want honesty, they're lying!
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