What goes up ...

Well in another first for me I quit my job just now because I was making to much money. This morning I buckled under the pressure and asked how much I was getting payed. I was shocked by how much I was making. On one day were I was just trying out a few NLP things for fun I made $400 and this was without even really trying. Upon finding this out I asked a few more questions and found out that between my cut and my Company's cut the first year of a persons donations basically wouldn't get to the charity. If you really want to make an ongoing donation to charity do it on the charities website that way they get all he money.

Once I found this out I quit on the spot, I had no choice. I felt absolutely terrible about all the people that I had gotten to sign up and generally felt really shitty. I had mislead people, because I had got carried away and gone with the flow instead of doing some basic homework. I had convinced quite a few people to donate money under false pretenses. I'm not really sure what to do about this, so any advice you guys have is welcome.

Its interesting how easy I was flourishing here, I already had a (to) well payed job, friends and was well on my way to finding a girl. Strange how little this seems to matter, maybe I should be looking for something else? (again ideas welcome)

I've decided to fly to Brisbane to make the most of the sunny weather, and get a nice honest job like picking fruit or working in a bar.

I'll post a happy entry about something amusing as soon as it happens so this one isn't at the top for long.

The word on the street

I've made an editorial decision to keep this a light hearted non political blog, I really don't want to preach all the stuff I'm learning at the moment about the darker side of the world. I feel however it is OK to discuss my reactions to it, without changing the direction of the blog.


Firstly to save the charity money I'm starting my own business so they are not obliged to pay any National Insurance or any benefits. I'm working on a 100% commission so I only get payed when the charity makes money. On my first day, my training day I was shown a video of some of the things that are happening in the developing world.

I normally never really paid attention to those kind of charity videos on TV before and having to study it really changed how I feel. Never before had I actually put myself in their position and tried to imagine what its actually like. I'm guessing the video was designed to get us caring and impassioned about the cause, it worked very well.

The rest of the sales training was very basic and in a lot of places actually wrong, I made a decision not to use any of my NLP/Hypnosis skills to start with. I would play it by the book first then gradually introduce things so I could see what worked. I think Ideally I would be best used training the other collectors, but first I would have to prove myself on the streets.

I'm actually trying to sign up myself on the grounds that if I want someone else to do its dangerously hypocritical if I'm not donating myself. Unfortunately I'm actually not allowed to as I'm not staying in the country for 2 years and have an English credit card, we're trying to work out a way around this at the moment.


The people I work with are great, well to be more accurate the campaigners I work with are great, the people on the street vary some what. They say works only as good as the people you work with, I'm not quite sure how to apply that to this job. Also there was a small matter of that I didn't know how much I was getting paid yet, the pub interview was very fun but in all the excitement we missed a lot of things normally discussed in an interview. I had been working there for a few days now and it would kind of be embarrassing to ask now. What kind of idiot starts a job without knowing how much they are getting paid? I've been spending a lot of money since I arrived here and I might be living beyond my means, or under them I have no way of knowing.


Several interesting trends I've noticed from people that donate, the poorer they seem the more likely they are to stop and talk to you and give, they also give more when they do donate. Kind of the opposite to what I was expecting. The second trend was that Melbourne winter had degenerated into something very similar to English winter. Working inside on a computer all day had really taught me the value of being outside, this job was definitely teaching me the value of being inside! I'm strongly considering migrating north for the winter.

Back to normal

A couple of days ago I entered a Pool competition it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I wasn't expecting much, just maybe potting a few balls before I got knocked out in the first round. Sadly this wasn't to be so, the first guy I played also couldn't play pool to save his life.

Round 1

The tournament had two tables but our game was lasting so long that the whole tournament had to stop and watch us finish it. I could feel the eyes of the real pool players burning into the back of my head as I fumbled around the table missing almost every shot. I think I was stretching the very limit of Australian hospitality people where starting to openly make noises when we missed. To make matters worse nearly every guy in the pub was in the pool tournament leaving a whole pub full of women frolicking unattended over the other side. I wanted out, I hatched a brilliant plan I would try and pot the black ball, lose and get myself knocked out. My opponent quickly noticed what I was doing and then started to do the same. It was a very strange game, sadly due to my opponents slightly superior pool playing skills I Won.

Round 2

Now here was a guy that could play, before I even had a shot he had potted 3 balls, this made me happy I was going to lose and lose fast. He even did a jump shot over one of my many balls remaining on the table. I had just one ball potted when he was on the black, with a mighty shot he slammed it into the corner pocket, this was great, I was out and most the guys where still hanging around the table ... but ... then ... the white ball ... oh my god ... no ... the white ball still had a lot of momentum left from his shot and had just potted itself.

'good game'

He said while giving me the most resentful hand shake of my life.

Round 3 (Quarter final)

I was finally beaten ... oh yes! Most the guys had lost interested so the ratio over the other side was back to normal, but to be honest I was just happy to finally lose.

The next day the hostel had a drag act on I found this out when I happened to be in a lift with them, I was expecting the lift to go down I had pressed the down button after all but instead it was heading up.

'I thought we were going down'

I said this very innocently, but let me tell you if you are ever in this situation it is probably one of the worst things you could say. Drag queens are not the kind of people to let this kind of opportunity to mock you pass by.

I was heading to town to find a free hot spot so I could help someone with their java code, serves me right for being nosy and looking for what they where doing on their lap top I guess.

On the way a very attractive woman stopped us and tried to get us to donate some money to Charity, it was a very interesting negotiation. We struggled to find common ground, given that she wanted me to give money to charity and I wanted to have sex with her. It ended up with me and her boss sitting in a pub having a few pints and him offering me a job raising money. I accepted I was toying with going into sales anyway as I had never done anything like it. As I was collecting money for a good cause it freed me from certain moral obligations about using some of the very sneaky NLP/hypnotic sales things I knew.

I know some of you thinking that this isn't a proper job and your probably right, its pretty dodgy I'll be working on a 100% commission basis its exactly the kind of job I would never normally dream of doing. But it kind of felt like fate, the universe seemed to be pushing me in this direction so I'm quite happy to run with it for a bit. Also how many job interviews have you had where you got to drink 3 pints? (reading that back now the 3 pint thing makes it sound even dodgier)

I'm now fighting the good fight, starting Tuesday collecting money for good causes, my life finally has a purpose. (well for at least the next couple of weeks)